You say you love me
and I believe you.
Or
at least I want to.
But I can’t say it back.
I still can’t say it back.
Not aloud and certainly not to myself
I almost hoped I could
It’s been three years now
why can’t I move on?
Why can’t I just forget all that happened?
Why can’t things go back to the way they were
When I was happy with your blissful ignorance
When you were content to see me the way you wanted to
When we could coexist
Never actually looking into each others’ eyes
But we weren’t happy, blissful, or content
I wasn’t happy or content
And now
I’m still not
Not with the way things are between us
You see
I’m still angry
Still upset by the things you did and what you’ve said
I’m still hurting
And I can’t forgive you
I will never forgive you for the pain you’ve caused me
So I don’t know if I will ever say I love you again
Because I don’t know if you deserve it.
Photo by Jan Kahánek on Unsplash
